Lift my head up to the dawn
I miss the sunlight.

Turn my ear to birdsong
Not hushed misery.

Lift my arm wipe my icicle tears
Frozen stillness holding me to you.

Praying for a velvet touch
Instead of your acid caress.

Words slush in my mouth
An ashen lump of help me swallowed.

Hear me.

Oh, for things...

I am concerned and somewhat dismayed to discover that I am hung up on THINGS. Having things, having nice things. I guess there's nothing wrong with that, except I never thought I was a materialistic person. What defines being materialistic? When you want things at all, or when you want things to the detriment of other priorities?

People like Jesus and Gandhi went out of their way to NOT have things... is that the bar I should be setting for myself? The less I have, the better person I am? More attuned, more depth to my personality? Are materialism and spirituality at opposite ends of the spectrum, or can they co-exist comfortably? I guess they can - you only have to look at people like good ole Brian to see that they can - but at what cost? He is quite happy with his lot, I'm guessing, but nobody else takes him seriously. Of course, that's an extreme example, but an example of how having things - or not having them - can lead others to define you.

I think the bottom line is that if I'm secure enough in who I am, what others will think is totally irrelevant and will have no bearing on how I think about myself. It's never really worried me before, so I'm curious to find out why I'm pondering this all of a sudden.

Some people more than others

Yeah, so I'd probably get into trouble for surfing at work (makes a mental note not to tell anyone), but in the interests of research, ie. who ponders more inane stuff than me, it has to be done.
Found a link this morning discussing how gay breakfast cereal characters are; Snap, Crackle and Pop for instance: "These days, they've been given an image makeover, with a sharper look, hipper dialogue, and hot urban background music. "Straight roles for the queer bowls." What has this made them? Breakfosexuals, that's what."

I guess, if you had that frame of mind, you could homosexualise anything. My too much time on my hands goal this week is to think of the most ungay thing in the world and homosexualise it. Purely for the sake of having too much time on my hands. No, I'm not the most PC person in the world, but due to the lack of malicious intent, I figure that makes it okay.

I was on the phone til 2-30am this morning - I regretted it when I had to wake up at 8am to get ready for work... but you don't think of these things when you're in the midst of a good telephone conversation. Hell, the conversation doesn't even have to be that stunning - if the person on the other end is groovy enough, sometimes it's nice to just hear them breathe.

Enough said.. I need a nap.