A brief, brief sliver of happiness

It was pure ecstasy.
I'm not the happiest person in the world these days, thanks to bipolar disorder, but yesterday I spent the afternoon cocooned in a sense of absolute, self-contented happiness. Everything about the world was good.
Unfortunately it didn't last - I woke up this morning with the familiar anxiety. But for now, that's okay, because I was starting to worry that I was incapable of feeling happy anymore. I never realised how long it's been, but better late than never.

Lushfest

Made it through the school holidays. YAY!

I have stopped smoking. It will be 2 weeks this coming Wednesday and I feel fantastic; the Oldest and I are going out walking every day and I'm not getting puffed! Whereas prior to stopping, it was taking me half an hour to recover from just the warm-up at kickboxing. It's been really easy this time around - I haven't made a big deal about it, haven't told too many people, haven't thought about it a lot; it's been a breeze for the most part. However, did have ONE slip up which fits into my weekend story.

I was having a few bourbon RTDs with the Husband on Saturday night (apparently he'd bought them with a view to drinking them whilst watching the Bathhurst car race on Sunday, BUT didn't tell me as much) and he went to bed quite early. I wasn't very tired at all, so I sat up til 4am watching L Word dvds. Imagine to my horror, upon getting ready to go to bed, I discovered I had ploughed my way through all the bourbons. Needless to say, Husband was quite unhappy at the prospect of watching the race with only one Heineken he found lurking in the drinks fridge. I am officially a lush.

The smoking part - I had a cigarette during my drinking binge. Just one. And very glad I did. It was DISGUSTING! Not so much the actual smoking of said ciggie, but afterwards - I felt sick, my chest and my stomach hurt, I had a cramp in my collarbone, I had an awful taste in my mouth and I stank. Paradoxically, it totally reinforced my decision to never smoke again, because I was starting to get a little wistful about the lack of cigarettes in my life. Not now. Not again. Not ever!!