To try and put it delicately, my lunar cycle had a dampening effect on my mood toward the end of the month, so I spent a few days in the MH ward. I wrote while I was in there; some excerpts written here are from my observing the other patients, so I have to edit it heavily (which is why it will appear broken, or in little parts). Otherwise it's just my semi-reflective ponderings.
"- The person who intrigues me most is the scariest-looking one here. He looks like a black Bin Laden with his beard. He sits all scrunched up in his heavy coat and his beanie. He stoically nurses his cigarette, whilst coughing his guts out the whole time. I watch his mouth moving and I imagine him chanting little mantras to himself. He looks terrifying, but he has this unnerving vulnerability about him that - incredibly - makes one want to hold him.
- I painted today. I am overjoyed at what I created, because I didn't think I had it in me anymore. D. instantly recognised the black hole in the middle as my own.
- You can find beauty everywhere you look here. Not in things.. in people. Beauty of the human spirit. I watch young S. offer G. his arm to lean on whilst she walked her arthritic hips down the hall. I saw unshed tears in G.'s eyes when I gave her my Women's Bible to keep. What held no importance to me anymore, became a gift that touched her deeply.
- How bizarre that I am going to miss these people. It only took them five days to show me you can find the grace of humanity in the strangest places. Without even trying."
2 comments:
Sounds like a spell in the MH ward was just the thing to lift your spirits up then.
You write well. When I write in longhand (as opposed to writing on the computer) I usually don't produce anything remotely readable because my hand gets tired and then I can't be bothered...
Fanks Violet - I have to be very careful not to lapse into Danielle Steele/Days of Our Lives-sounding prose, though... and I only wrote longhand because there were no computers!
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