A brief, brief sliver of happiness

It was pure ecstasy.
I'm not the happiest person in the world these days, thanks to bipolar disorder, but yesterday I spent the afternoon cocooned in a sense of absolute, self-contented happiness. Everything about the world was good.
Unfortunately it didn't last - I woke up this morning with the familiar anxiety. But for now, that's okay, because I was starting to worry that I was incapable of feeling happy anymore. I never realised how long it's been, but better late than never.

Lushfest

Made it through the school holidays. YAY!

I have stopped smoking. It will be 2 weeks this coming Wednesday and I feel fantastic; the Oldest and I are going out walking every day and I'm not getting puffed! Whereas prior to stopping, it was taking me half an hour to recover from just the warm-up at kickboxing. It's been really easy this time around - I haven't made a big deal about it, haven't told too many people, haven't thought about it a lot; it's been a breeze for the most part. However, did have ONE slip up which fits into my weekend story.

I was having a few bourbon RTDs with the Husband on Saturday night (apparently he'd bought them with a view to drinking them whilst watching the Bathhurst car race on Sunday, BUT didn't tell me as much) and he went to bed quite early. I wasn't very tired at all, so I sat up til 4am watching L Word dvds. Imagine to my horror, upon getting ready to go to bed, I discovered I had ploughed my way through all the bourbons. Needless to say, Husband was quite unhappy at the prospect of watching the race with only one Heineken he found lurking in the drinks fridge. I am officially a lush.

The smoking part - I had a cigarette during my drinking binge. Just one. And very glad I did. It was DISGUSTING! Not so much the actual smoking of said ciggie, but afterwards - I felt sick, my chest and my stomach hurt, I had a cramp in my collarbone, I had an awful taste in my mouth and I stank. Paradoxically, it totally reinforced my decision to never smoke again, because I was starting to get a little wistful about the lack of cigarettes in my life. Not now. Not again. Not ever!!

Types of people I hate with a vengeance #1

Sneaky little workplace peck-peckers.

The type who, upon having a problem with something you've done/not done, get all sneaky on your ass and take it up with your higher-up instead of having a chat with you. And then they get all "do-this-do-that, peck-peck-peck" until you feel so heckled, you want to backhand them.

I am absolutely terrified about the up-coming school holidays - not only are we 3 staff members down (oh god, I miss them!), but we have been told to increase the number of programmes we do each week. SO - for both of the weeks, we are doing double programmes (morning and afternoon) 3 days per week. Eek.

Achoooooo!

Why is there always heaps of snot when you have a cold??? I used to think that having a blocked nose was the WORST part of it (I HATE having a blocked nose; it terrifies me), but I'm fast sick of the burning eyes, sneezing, chills and, of course, the excess nose discharge. Trying to sing to a crowd of under-3's without having to dash out for another tissue this morning was a monumental task.

I watched a Sunday Theatre last night, entitled "Compulsion" . A bit stilted in parts, but it was nice to see Parminder Nagra departing from her usual squeaky-clean personas. Not a masterpiece, but an interesting aside for a Sunday night.

One of my friends gave me Team America: World Police (made in 2004?? It's been that long??)for the weekend. Have seen it a couple of times before, but the more I watch it, the better the satire gets. Piss-taking is a great past-time.

I really really really miss my dog.

Tess is a labrador/flat-coated retriever crossbreed. Black. Gorgeous.

I had three dogs (but Bubble & Xena only counted as one, because they were so small. Chihuahuas.) I rehomed Tess a year ago because she kept escaping and the principal of the local school complained every time she went over to play with the kids... she was that kind of dog. I found out that the chap who took her lives around the corner from my new house (which is all fully fenced; aah, the irony) and his place is falling into slovenly ruin.

I want her back. Is that being really ridiculous and unreasonable? Still, after all this time, I miss her badly. Rehoming her was a really stupid stupid move and I wish I hadn't. Am I being a total dreamer? Or should I go see this guy and ask him if he would consider giving her back to me? She's even still registered under my name.

I just want her to come home. Waah.

More than a bloody year??

Really?? Gawd, that goes fast! I must surely be one of the most crappest bloggers in the world. I'm having one of those MEH days... well, a meh WEEK, if I'm being honest with myself. I just don't give a crap about anything (even work... ESPECIALLY work) and people are all dicks. All people. PMS is a mean mean thing.

At least I can always count on the kids to cheer me up - the Smallest (who has just turned NINE!) has a new project, as of this morning on the train: she is trying to stretch her tongue. Apparently Rose can touch her nose with her tongue and the Smallest has figured out she just needs a longer tongue. I'll keep you posted on her progress... although I haven;t got my head around how to measure it, yet.